Chaplainesque's Blog

chaplainesque — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:07:46 +0000

I am invited

To re-define

Success

You came regularly

For a long time

With lofty goals

And steady pace

You lightened my heart

Brought light to

My eyes

Talking in Hebrew

In a constant state of

Gratitude

And now

For this moment

You drink

And

Don’t come

[Or hardly]

Seemingly self-destructive

This is not a success story

Is it

Yet

You were building your website

Excitement in your voice

For now

Laid aside

Lost

You came

Eager

Examining your life

Re-building

But the siren call of

Crack

Intruding on hopes and dreams

Not everyone relapses

Not everyone stays on the street

Not everyone

Wants to get off

Success looks different

For one

Than for another

Someone said that

Maybe

This is my success

Story

I don’t understand

I do understand

Staying

Not giving up

Just because the world

[And you]

Doesn’t evolve the way

I think it

Should

I understand that my

Idea of “should”

Is so narrow

Indeed, often misplaced

I understand

Constancy

Being here

Still

Again

Today

Tomorrow

I understand

Or am beginning to understand

Waiting

As Dilma Vana Rousseff says:

“Waiting means hope

And if you lose hope

Fear takes over”[1]

And I understand

That I cannot

Save

The world

I cannot even save

Myself

I understand

I don’t understand

Do I dare

Believe

That it is

Enough

To be here

Today

Another day

Do what I can

Wait

Hope

I do understand

You changed my life

You are changing my life

You are saving my life

Thank you

[1] “Don’t Mess with Dilma,” by Mac Margolis, Newsweek, September 26, 2011, page 40

What has happened

chaplainesque — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:20:18 +0000

Today

They continue to argue in

Washington

About money

Taxes

Cutting benefits

Insurance

Echoes on

Wall Street

Occupy

So many frustrated

And this morning

Asked me for

$1.30 so he could

Get something to eat

At McDonalds

What has

Happened to us?

Not Done

chaplainesque — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:45:51 +0000

On the death of a young woman, someone’s daughter, sister, and friend of many – and subsequent evidence suggesting that her death was not accidental

How to respond?

Overwhelming

Traumatic

Loss

How do I respond?

How do you?

When a life

Not just any life

But this Particular Life

Dear

And so fought for

And won

Again

Is gone

Done

Unexpected

Not done

What do I do?

She asks

What can one do?

When there is

Nothing

To be done

Nothing

To stop it

To change it

To make it not

Have happened

It should not have

Happened

There is no reason

Nothing to make

Sense

Of this -

Screaming

Flat

Unbelieving

Hole

Inside

Gone

THIS IS MY PRAYER

chaplainesque — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:59:16 +0000

We are engaged in our annual campaign. There is so much need and at the same time, so much grace and glory in this work with the homeless. I was telling staff with whom I work at Healthcare for the Homeless – Houston about one of our clients. He lives on the street but was quick to offer one of his “neighbors” in the encampment money when the neighbor needed it and bought the same neighbor a phone for emergency.

Generosity –

I am grateful for the reminder that to give to the need of another is response to the mandate from our Creator. And the call is to give from what we have, trusting that when we have not another will give to our need

THOU WHO ART

We pray for a GENEROUS outpouring

From those who give their time

And from those who give their money

To provide service and care

For the homeless who come to the HHH clinics for help

For the homeless everywhere

Abundance –

Pressed down and Running over

We ask for heart

For compassion

[But do we know for what we ask?

Until we feel the crushing weight

How can we know?]

We ask for heart

We ask for

Compassion

To act

To give

Freely

Allow us to

Feel the weight

But always

To know we do not carry the load

Alone

[Let us not

Kid ourselves -

The burden is too

Heavy

Alone]

Allow us to say

Yes

Remind us

That we are part of a great community

Of brothers and sisters

And that our

Yes

Is for all these

For these our

Brothers

Sisters

Yes –

For compassion

To feel their pain

To be weighted down

To know

[We who take for granted

Food

Companionship

Safety

Comfort

Whose backs have never

Stooped

Who have never felt the

Weight]

We ask

To feel

And then

Give us grace and courage

To act

Let it be so

Annual campaign 2011

If I wait

chaplainesque — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:25:06 +0000

She talked about her boyfriend in jail

Making it clear that she

Cares about him

Insisting

He is good for her

She is good for him

He does not drink or do drugs

But hastened to say

“I do not love him”

And clarified

“I cannot love anyone who is on

The street”

[Are you wondering if anyone loves you]

When queried further

Not able

Or willing?

To risk

Loving someone who might get

Hurt

Or whom she might lose

[Who has lost you?]

I am sad

I understand

Not wanting to

Minimize or

Trivialize

I wonder

Is it ever?

Safe

Are there guarantees?

If I wait until

Will I ever love?

The wind came strong not long ago

And knocked down a large tree limb

It is easier to sustain damage to the car

Than to someone I love

Is it safe?

Things

People

Love

The wind

A tree

A gun

Illness

Life

Drugs

Alcohol

Joy

Hope

Spin the dial

THOU WHO ART

Grant me

Courage to Love

Courage to Live

And

Grace to honor

Myself

Her

You

When we just

Cannot

It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms open. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence.

“The Cost” by Morris West

Continue to Ponder

chaplainesque — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 21:51:52 +0000

I continue to ponder a line

From one of the homeless

A while back

I asked him why he stays on the street

Is it

Money trouble

Alcohol

Drugs

No job

I ask

“Why?”

“It is my walkabout[1]”

He replies

Walkabout

What quest is this?

My friend

What journey do you make?

Have you lost your way?

Or are you seeking a

Different road

One yet unknown

Maybe

Different seasons

In our lives

Have their own

Stories

Does the call come?

To each of us

Inviting us to

Rest not content

When the world is

Wide ahead

Inviting us

To courage

To be fully

Alive

Sometimes

I worry about

You

On the street,

My friend

And yet

None of us

Alive

Are guaranteed

Safe

When I listen to the

Passion in your voice

And see the wonder in your eyes

And hear your

Thank you

I understand the draw

I applaud

Say yes

I think I’ll go on a walkabout
And find out what it’s all about – and that ain’t hard
Just me and my own two feet
In the heat I’ve got myself to meet
A detective of perspective I
I need to try and get a bigger eye – open wide[2]

[1] Walkabout refers to a rite of passage during which male Australian Aborigines would undergo a journey during adolescence and live in the wilderness for a period as long as six months. In this practice they would trace the paths, or songlines, that their people’s ceremonials ancestors took, and imitate, in a fashion, their heroic deeds. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[2] From Red Hot Chili Peppers

OPEN MY HEART

chaplainesque — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:11:53 +0000

Listening

To stories of

Success

Failure

[What is failure?

Who makes this determination?

Today I read in the paper -

The prisoner in solitary confinement

Is better off than the law abiding citizen

Living under the bridge]

What is failure?

It seems a

Construct

Jaded

Biased

Judgment/Critique

Informed by

Arrogance

Ignorance

Rigidity

As if a particular knows

What is

Good

Right

True

Best

And what is

Not

For the general

This one talked of

Hard work

Claimed the most important thing

Success

Make money

I am uneasy

It seems

A limited

Narrow

Fleeting

Materialistic focus

Sometimes

I think

Success

For me

Is when

I can listen

Without comparing

My life

My values

To another’s

Was I successful?

This time

Or not

Maybe more than I used to be

And so far from where I aspire

Another talked about

Feeling critiqued

Tried

Judged

Found wanting

A failure

And how much

It hurts

Questions may not be

Just questions

They may interpret as

Lightly disguised

Criticism

May land in a heart

So often hurt

That benign

Is not

Thou who are

Love

Teach me to

Love

Listen with

Open

Humble

Learning

Welcoming

Heart

Shaped by your

Being

Shaped by your

Actions in history

Your commitment to

Future

THIS IS MY PRAYER

chaplainesque — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:14:45 +0000

I was talking with a client last week

Who seemed genuinely

Puzzled

Why there are some who do not support health coverage/care

For all

We talked about

Health

Fear

He talked about his fear

As he raised his children

Not knowing what he would do

If something happened to one of them

Or himself

Holy one

Hold our

Fear

Remind us of

Lilies

Sparrows

[Hummingbirds]

Teach us to trust

Call us to action

Grant us the commitment

To ensure that those who have

Less

Have enough

Pour out abundance

Fullness

Sufficiency

Pressed down

Shaken together

And running over

we say we trust

chaplainesque — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 18:29:51 +0000

Holy one

We say we trust you

But Fret

Fuss and

Fear

We say we trust you

Yet

Spout Anger

Frustration

At those with whom

We disagree

We say we trust you

But

Counting/ Clutching our

Pennies

And

Clenching our fists

We act as if

You have not

Already

Brought us

Safe

And filled

Thus far

We say we trust you

And still

Forget

We say we trust you

But are

Dogmatic

Critical

Judgmental

As if all will

Fail

Unravel

If we do not convince

The other of our

Version of

Truth

We say we trust you

And then act

As if we have to

Save the world

Ourselves

And act

As if you need us to protect your

Reputation

Do we not believe?

You are

Capable

Willing

Committed

Desiring

To bring about the

Good

Rightness

Justice

You promised from

The Beginning

Is not this the

Meaning of

Hope

That Guarantee of

And Confidence for

The Future based on

All you have

Done in the

Past

A friend

Brought me a

Rock from the

Jaffa Gate

A rock

A reminder:

Another friend wrote

Years ago

“How long does it take?

God to make a

Rock

He never forgets them

You know”

Thou who

Art

Thank you that

You never forget

Allow me to

Unclench my

Fists

Today

THIS IS MY PRAYER

chaplainesque — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 21:51:39 +0000

She said, “Keep me in your prayers.”

What do we seek?

When we say

Pray for me

To what do we commit?

When we tell another

That we will pray

Are we willing?

Receptive

To let in the energy

Prayer sends out

Are we willing?

To give of ourselves

To spend our energy

To show up

And stay

For another

[There was another time

When the question

Was asked

“Could you not watch with

Me?”

How quickly I sleep]

Or do we throw

Words and promises

Carelessly about

As if they do not matter

Thou Who Art,

Let me open my being

To the prayers

Your creation

Continues to expend on

My behalf

Receive my words

Take the groaning

Of my heart

On behalf of those

You love

Hear my prayer